another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
You guys are so kulit.. sabi nang don't read eh.. If youre still reading this.. what can I do?
dear on-line journal,
Gee, I'm so bored. I don't even know what to write about.. Did I ever tell you guys that I'm also active in church? Well, heres that story.. Had our team buiding held at my house for the church camp this friday.. It started saturday last week and ended sunday. It was really nice since the new genaration of members are coming around, leading the org in their own unique way. Us veterans are getting old and now face new challenges. While our numbers are dwindling I leave it up to the newbies to continue the legacy we started as pioneering batch. Sometimes it gets too depressing seeing a few of the veterans active in our org. We used to be tight with each other looking forward to meeting up for the next prayer meeting. We were young then and it felt so good that we didn't even notice that time passed by until little by little, some of us started to fade out.. Now I look at the grown up versions of ourselves and I hate to admit it that we changed a lot. Some of the members don't even have time and given up hope in our org while others think so negatively that the current lineup of members won't even come around. But hey! Some of us are still here still holding on to the committment that we once pledged to our creator. Depressing, it really is. Although it was bound to happen, I'm still keeping faith. I'm still waiting for the other veterans to come around.. The new batches will continue to pass that fire that was once instilled in us the moment we joined the group. I know they will, they have to..
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
on the topic of the ideal girl.. reloaded..
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
"It's so funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds, the person that we truly love will always be an exception"
It is funny that we as people do qualifications on that “person”. I know this for a fact that “the girl”, one that is ideal in my opinion will never be real. Sad.. Truly depressing but in the midst of all of this, I’ve realized that I am also human and I would never be really contented with what I have. This might sound selfish but hey, its me, and I guess I’m entitled to what I feel. The ideal girl was and still is never meant for all of us. Writing about this imaginary girl just makes me feel good about notions of a perfect relationship, something that will be special amidst the shit that is happening around us. A relationship that will last since everything nowadays goes with a flick of an eye. I just want to revisit the days of old about how relationships were sacred and pure. With all the kids fucked up these days, who’d want to get hitched?
The person that we truly love will always be an exception. Even though she’s not all that or the person that is liked by all.. who cares right? Damn the world, but any person would do the stupidest things for that special someone, I know I would. I remember this girl that I always dreamed about. She’s real, the girl that I would marry as I would say to myself. She was the rose among the thorns. Not really my type, actually the opposite of what I like, but somehow she is different. I don’t know why.. Used to yearn for her but now, I’m glad and settled in the fact that we’re good friends. I will always be there for her no matter what. I want to be the person that wipes her tears off her face and person she draws strength for all her battles in life. I want her happy all the time even if I’m not the man that brings her that smile on her face and I will always love her for the person that she is..
"It's so funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds, the person that we truly love will always be an exception"
It is funny that we as people do qualifications on that “person”. I know this for a fact that “the girl”, one that is ideal in my opinion will never be real. Sad.. Truly depressing but in the midst of all of this, I’ve realized that I am also human and I would never be really contented with what I have. This might sound selfish but hey, its me, and I guess I’m entitled to what I feel. The ideal girl was and still is never meant for all of us. Writing about this imaginary girl just makes me feel good about notions of a perfect relationship, something that will be special amidst the shit that is happening around us. A relationship that will last since everything nowadays goes with a flick of an eye. I just want to revisit the days of old about how relationships were sacred and pure. With all the kids fucked up these days, who’d want to get hitched?
The person that we truly love will always be an exception. Even though she’s not all that or the person that is liked by all.. who cares right? Damn the world, but any person would do the stupidest things for that special someone, I know I would. I remember this girl that I always dreamed about. She’s real, the girl that I would marry as I would say to myself. She was the rose among the thorns. Not really my type, actually the opposite of what I like, but somehow she is different. I don’t know why.. Used to yearn for her but now, I’m glad and settled in the fact that we’re good friends. I will always be there for her no matter what. I want to be the person that wipes her tears off her face and person she draws strength for all her battles in life. I want her happy all the time even if I’m not the man that brings her that smile on her face and I will always love her for the person that she is..
Thursday, October 07, 2004
on the topic of the ideal girl..
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
New friends that I meet find it hard to accept that I haven’t been in a serious relationship for like the rest of my life. So what? I choose to lead my life in a way I desire. I do not have a need for someone at the moment since I feel that leading the single life is leading a life with no cares or responsibilities. All I have to think about is myself. I guess being traumatized in past “relationships” made me think twice about starting a new one. I’m one of those people whose scared of all that commitment yada yada yada.. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have been in relationships but not really that serious. When I really, really, really like the girl I can really be obsessed but not in a dangerous and psycho kind of way but in a pathetic and miserable kind of way. I’m such a loser to the girl I really like. I completely act like a dork especially when I’m around her. I guess we all are, in front of a person that makes our stomach feel like its full of butterflies and the feeling of having goose bumps over your goose bumps. Oh my God! High school happened all over again. Suddenly I’m that loser geeky boy in glasses.. What made me afraid of committing is that when I fall, I fall real hard. The repercussions of what I feel reflect in everything I do. That means I really like the girl to the point of love, insanity and bloodshed.. (hahaha.. delete the last two terms.. that didn’t sound right.. hehehehe..). It would really take me a ages to recover, literally.
What is the ideal girl to me? “The one” that would have my heart.. For starters She should be pretty ( who wants a person that is.. hmm.. “sablay” anyway? All of us differ in standards..) And smart. A woman. No psycho bitches please? Most guys go for the “beauty and brains” kind of girls. I’d rather go for smart people since even intelligent people get fooled and played around. They are the people who are cool, calm and calculating. I want a girl with appeal in order to attract my attention. Intimidating to a point but just enough for me to kick into high gear for me to do my moves. I want a challenge.. She should be one. My love interest at the same time my foe. She is my adversary and the person I’m destined to be with. My equal.. She knows my every move as do I with her which would result into a stalemate and then maybe we could call it quits, but then again the one who gives in looses.. She’s ready to bail out on me whenever I get too relaxed and cocky. She’s very flexible since I have a broad range of friends from different walks of life. Although she's kikay, she’s not afraid to get ready for a date in a matter of ten minutes. She’s in for the ride for every trip. And she loves tripping on me.. because she knows that it’s not the matter of reaching the end but how the journey was made and the stories that follow after every experience. love may not make the world gor round but it makes the trip worthwhile. I want her to be trusting, trusting me enough for her to permit me to have my life of my own since I also have friends and I would not want for us to be on our own island alone.. With her understanding comes love, without understanding all the love in the world will be for naught. She knows that I will always be a guy and a guy needs to do what a guy needs to do. A girl that would sweep me off my feet, as do I with hers. My hero, “the damsel” that would save this dude in distress even if it means saving me from myself because I too can fall and need a little catching of my own (floor=hard). She is also a lady but she’s not afraid to get in touch with her masculine side since I’m the kind of person who is never afraid to get in touch with my feminine side. She is my special someone and also my mistress in order to keep this dog at bay. So, if ever, I’m going to cheat on her, I’d cheat on her with her. I don’t know how she’ll do it but she can and will. She keeps me on my feet being very unpredictable doing irrational things but within this irrationality lies a rational reason. Aside from being that special someone to me she is also a friend. She teaches me things I’ve never known about and make me do things I thought I could never do. She balances me out while I’m battling my own demons. Strong in faith is she, and fears God as well.. Our relationship should be dynamic and ever changing since we don’t want to fall into the trap of doing the same routine over and over again resulting into a potential “grown out of love” syndrome. She is a person that would never give up on me when the world already did.. Strong-willed and never willing to give up, she sticks it out with me through thick or thin. Through my eyes she sees that this warrior is also a chil
d, An individual that needs care and nurturing. Most of all, she loves me for what I am. She has no pretensions and accepts me for me.. because she is a better person than I am that makes me want to be a better person around her. She is the one person I’m ever going to love for the rest of my life. After a long time in the relationship we are still unbeleivably in love.. She believes that our love will conquer all.. that being in love with each other makes our lives even more beautiful.
New friends that I meet find it hard to accept that I haven’t been in a serious relationship for like the rest of my life. So what? I choose to lead my life in a way I desire. I do not have a need for someone at the moment since I feel that leading the single life is leading a life with no cares or responsibilities. All I have to think about is myself. I guess being traumatized in past “relationships” made me think twice about starting a new one. I’m one of those people whose scared of all that commitment yada yada yada.. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have been in relationships but not really that serious. When I really, really, really like the girl I can really be obsessed but not in a dangerous and psycho kind of way but in a pathetic and miserable kind of way. I’m such a loser to the girl I really like. I completely act like a dork especially when I’m around her. I guess we all are, in front of a person that makes our stomach feel like its full of butterflies and the feeling of having goose bumps over your goose bumps. Oh my God! High school happened all over again. Suddenly I’m that loser geeky boy in glasses.. What made me afraid of committing is that when I fall, I fall real hard. The repercussions of what I feel reflect in everything I do. That means I really like the girl to the point of love, insanity and bloodshed.. (hahaha.. delete the last two terms.. that didn’t sound right.. hehehehe..). It would really take me a ages to recover, literally.
What is the ideal girl to me? “The one” that would have my heart.. For starters She should be pretty ( who wants a person that is.. hmm.. “sablay” anyway? All of us differ in standards..) And smart. A woman. No psycho bitches please? Most guys go for the “beauty and brains” kind of girls. I’d rather go for smart people since even intelligent people get fooled and played around. They are the people who are cool, calm and calculating. I want a girl with appeal in order to attract my attention. Intimidating to a point but just enough for me to kick into high gear for me to do my moves. I want a challenge.. She should be one. My love interest at the same time my foe. She is my adversary and the person I’m destined to be with. My equal.. She knows my every move as do I with her which would result into a stalemate and then maybe we could call it quits, but then again the one who gives in looses.. She’s ready to bail out on me whenever I get too relaxed and cocky. She’s very flexible since I have a broad range of friends from different walks of life. Although she's kikay, she’s not afraid to get ready for a date in a matter of ten minutes. She’s in for the ride for every trip. And she loves tripping on me.. because she knows that it’s not the matter of reaching the end but how the journey was made and the stories that follow after every experience. love may not make the world gor round but it makes the trip worthwhile. I want her to be trusting, trusting me enough for her to permit me to have my life of my own since I also have friends and I would not want for us to be on our own island alone.. With her understanding comes love, without understanding all the love in the world will be for naught. She knows that I will always be a guy and a guy needs to do what a guy needs to do. A girl that would sweep me off my feet, as do I with hers. My hero, “the damsel” that would save this dude in distress even if it means saving me from myself because I too can fall and need a little catching of my own (floor=hard). She is also a lady but she’s not afraid to get in touch with her masculine side since I’m the kind of person who is never afraid to get in touch with my feminine side. She is my special someone and also my mistress in order to keep this dog at bay. So, if ever, I’m going to cheat on her, I’d cheat on her with her. I don’t know how she’ll do it but she can and will. She keeps me on my feet being very unpredictable doing irrational things but within this irrationality lies a rational reason. Aside from being that special someone to me she is also a friend. She teaches me things I’ve never known about and make me do things I thought I could never do. She balances me out while I’m battling my own demons. Strong in faith is she, and fears God as well.. Our relationship should be dynamic and ever changing since we don’t want to fall into the trap of doing the same routine over and over again resulting into a potential “grown out of love” syndrome. She is a person that would never give up on me when the world already did.. Strong-willed and never willing to give up, she sticks it out with me through thick or thin. Through my eyes she sees that this warrior is also a chil
d, An individual that needs care and nurturing. Most of all, she loves me for what I am. She has no pretensions and accepts me for me.. because she is a better person than I am that makes me want to be a better person around her. She is the one person I’m ever going to love for the rest of my life. After a long time in the relationship we are still unbeleivably in love.. She believes that our love will conquer all.. that being in love with each other makes our lives even more beautiful.
come on over to my place..Ü
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
dear on-line journal,
Ahh.. just finished a night of hanging out with my friends(kris, jb and ejie) here in my place. Backtrack..
kris and jb are flirting with the computer while ejie is watching euro trip on dvd..
They just left a while ago. Hmmm, the room is trashed with stuff scattered around and I have to fix things up but its all good. Its really nice that hanging out here with my village friends evolved from late night to early morning drinking sessions into late night to early morning coffee sessions. I guess it started when all of us ran out of money one night and we decided to lay off the booze and hang out instead. Well, at least we don't have to make excuses of drinking in order to be with each other and share our own views and even problems at times. I really like it the way my friends express themselves and open up without the influence of alcohol or anything whatsoever. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to get those ill-gotten feelings out into the open without the intoxication of liqour. Thats a bold thing to do and I admire my friends for taking the step.. (I'm also the same.. admire me too!Ü hehehehehe..) Time really flies fast. I suddenly remember our childhood days spent with each other. We would go out in briefs and a shirt only to play.. then wearing shorts became in.. (and of course the right thing to do! Cover it up people!) to our bikes and basketball days.. and now, a couple of young individuals that well, hmm.. hang around.. bumming ourselves to boredom with the consolation of being with each other and looking for girls to add to our group to add some spice.. You know it tends to be repetative of seeing each other faces since we were kids.. The quest continues for the search for new friends.. any girls willing to apply?Ü hehehehe.. Uhhh.. yeah.. I didn't think so..
dear on-line journal,
Ahh.. just finished a night of hanging out with my friends(kris, jb and ejie) here in my place. Backtrack..
kris and jb are flirting with the computer while ejie is watching euro trip on dvd..
They just left a while ago. Hmmm, the room is trashed with stuff scattered around and I have to fix things up but its all good. Its really nice that hanging out here with my village friends evolved from late night to early morning drinking sessions into late night to early morning coffee sessions. I guess it started when all of us ran out of money one night and we decided to lay off the booze and hang out instead. Well, at least we don't have to make excuses of drinking in order to be with each other and share our own views and even problems at times. I really like it the way my friends express themselves and open up without the influence of alcohol or anything whatsoever. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to get those ill-gotten feelings out into the open without the intoxication of liqour. Thats a bold thing to do and I admire my friends for taking the step.. (I'm also the same.. admire me too!Ü hehehehehe..) Time really flies fast. I suddenly remember our childhood days spent with each other. We would go out in briefs and a shirt only to play.. then wearing shorts became in.. (and of course the right thing to do! Cover it up people!) to our bikes and basketball days.. and now, a couple of young individuals that well, hmm.. hang around.. bumming ourselves to boredom with the consolation of being with each other and looking for girls to add to our group to add some spice.. You know it tends to be repetative of seeing each other faces since we were kids.. The quest continues for the search for new friends.. any girls willing to apply?Ü hehehehe.. Uhhh.. yeah.. I didn't think so..
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
taking it all the way to baguio and back for more!
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
dear on-line journal,
ugh! Its a nasty time for me.. I still have class at around 745 and its still 530.. Shit.. Waiting sucks. By the way, its been a long time since I last posted here.. Anyone miss me?(how I wish! =( ... )
Well its been a wild week for me cuz last tuesday I went to Baguio for the annual PMAP(Personnel Management Association of the Philippines) Conference held at Camp John Hay. It was a wild four days and four nights. So now comes the question where all you boys or boys at heart ask.. "Where there any chiks around?". Now my part comes wherein I say.. "Uhmm, no.. but there were lots of old people around.. Take your pick!Ü". No, guys there weren't any chiks around only people.. really old people but I'd perefer not to look at it as a downside but rather of a pleasure. Jim Paredes of the APO hiking society was there to grace the first night with an opening seminar. I crossed my fingers praying that he would sing their song, "Panalangin" (I just love the song sooo much..) but nay.. he didn't. He sang a different song.. Bayani Fernando was there and the famous mayor of Naga City, Jesse M. Robredo. Even the owner of the Inquirer was there, Mrs. Sandy Romualdez. It was a great experience and an eye opener.. I was real fun mingling with the top dogs of the HR world and a realization.. that there are no chicks in HR.. (thats really nasty!) Well, I'm just playing with you guys.. The seminar finished Friday night and we went down saturday morning at around 10 am and I got home 9 pm.
My stay at home would be short lived because I had to go to my friend's debut at Greenhills. After that I went over to Grilla since I had to meet up with Franz. As I reached the place I soon discovered that Franz was already drunk from all the free beer he drank( It was a friends party also..). After a quick stop, me and Franz were off to Ponti since Franz wanted to see his girlfriend Kd (she's working in the building beside Ponti) After exchanging hi's and hello's to a few friends I went home and reached my bed at around 430. It was really tiring coming from Baguio and all but instead of going to sleep I opted to watch t.v. before finally calling it a day and dreaming off to kiwiland..
Phew! A lot of stories to tell.. As I lay in my bed, thoughts in my head suddenly pop out.. Sometimes I just feel that my whole is suddenly a routine. I study then I party.. I am suddenly asking myself the question of where is the sense in my life. What happened to taking control of your own life molding it the way you want it? Where is the freedom ladies and gentlemen? Sometimes I do ponder about these things one lonely night wherein I'd ponder with a cigarette of what the hell has happened? Where'd all the love go?Too much stress I guess, and its high time that I get the relaxation I think I deserve. Too much work.. too much people.. too much problems.. Sometimes I feel like a person caged in this world (I guess we all are.. aren't we?). How I wish to go back to my childhood.. No problems, no responsibilities.. Just plain fun.. A life of simplicity and no cares. An impossible situation to achieve so all I can do is dream.. sweet solace.. Mmmmm...
dear on-line journal,
ugh! Its a nasty time for me.. I still have class at around 745 and its still 530.. Shit.. Waiting sucks. By the way, its been a long time since I last posted here.. Anyone miss me?(how I wish! =( ... )
Well its been a wild week for me cuz last tuesday I went to Baguio for the annual PMAP(Personnel Management Association of the Philippines) Conference held at Camp John Hay. It was a wild four days and four nights. So now comes the question where all you boys or boys at heart ask.. "Where there any chiks around?". Now my part comes wherein I say.. "Uhmm, no.. but there were lots of old people around.. Take your pick!Ü". No, guys there weren't any chiks around only people.. really old people but I'd perefer not to look at it as a downside but rather of a pleasure. Jim Paredes of the APO hiking society was there to grace the first night with an opening seminar. I crossed my fingers praying that he would sing their song, "Panalangin" (I just love the song sooo much..) but nay.. he didn't. He sang a different song.. Bayani Fernando was there and the famous mayor of Naga City, Jesse M. Robredo. Even the owner of the Inquirer was there, Mrs. Sandy Romualdez. It was a great experience and an eye opener.. I was real fun mingling with the top dogs of the HR world and a realization.. that there are no chicks in HR.. (thats really nasty!) Well, I'm just playing with you guys.. The seminar finished Friday night and we went down saturday morning at around 10 am and I got home 9 pm.
My stay at home would be short lived because I had to go to my friend's debut at Greenhills. After that I went over to Grilla since I had to meet up with Franz. As I reached the place I soon discovered that Franz was already drunk from all the free beer he drank( It was a friends party also..). After a quick stop, me and Franz were off to Ponti since Franz wanted to see his girlfriend Kd (she's working in the building beside Ponti) After exchanging hi's and hello's to a few friends I went home and reached my bed at around 430. It was really tiring coming from Baguio and all but instead of going to sleep I opted to watch t.v. before finally calling it a day and dreaming off to kiwiland..
Phew! A lot of stories to tell.. As I lay in my bed, thoughts in my head suddenly pop out.. Sometimes I just feel that my whole is suddenly a routine. I study then I party.. I am suddenly asking myself the question of where is the sense in my life. What happened to taking control of your own life molding it the way you want it? Where is the freedom ladies and gentlemen? Sometimes I do ponder about these things one lonely night wherein I'd ponder with a cigarette of what the hell has happened? Where'd all the love go?Too much stress I guess, and its high time that I get the relaxation I think I deserve. Too much work.. too much people.. too much problems.. Sometimes I feel like a person caged in this world (I guess we all are.. aren't we?). How I wish to go back to my childhood.. No problems, no responsibilities.. Just plain fun.. A life of simplicity and no cares. An impossible situation to achieve so all I can do is dream.. sweet solace.. Mmmmm...
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